Tales of Earth-2013: Episode of Rocket
by lightyearpig
Summary: Long before the Guardians of the Galaxy were formed, Rocket Raccoon & Groot are put on trial for stealing from Blue Diamond and must find a way to escape Homeworld.


_AN: Welcome to the very first spin-off of Earth-2013! In this little one-shot we journey back to the past to long before Rocket & Groot first met the other Guardians of the Galaxy & the Crystal Gems. This tale in particular takes place during season 1 in between Ocean Gem and The Return so I have a bit more to work with than with Secret Wars. But I'm getting ahead of myself, please enjoy our story!_

* * *

 **Tales of Earth-2013**

 **Episode of Rocket**

"Double time you big lug, she could be catching up to us any moment now!"

"I am Groot!"

"No I don't care the rest of those quartzes! Chances are Tivan probably dumped 'em out or sold them to another unlucky soul."

Rocket Raccoon and Groot were currently running throughout Knowhere in a desperate attempt to escape the Gem Homeworld's forces, who were currently hunting them down for the theft of bubbled Rose Quartz gems taken from the Human Zoo.

When the two were out of breath, they took a moment to find a nearby alleyway to hide. "Phew, that was close." Rocket gasped setting the three bubbles they still had down. "Okay Groot, all we need to do now is find our ship and then we'll be outta here!" he declared, not even realizing his partner was gone until it was too late. "Groot?"

"I am Groot!" the flora colossus exclaimed from afar. The mercenary prepared his laser cannon and got ready to save his best friend, charging out of the alley in search of him. "C'mon buddy, I know you're out there!" Rocket exclaimed pointing his weapon around. "Just say those three words loud enough for me to hear you."

There was dead silence in the empty space Rocket had found himself in, with no one else around to find him. That is, except for a large yellow Gem wearing an orange visor with a flattop haircut and two gemstones where her ears could've been peering from behind.

"Oh no! You've found us!" a smaller blue Gem declared in a sing-song voice with a smug grin on her face just as the Collector panically sprang out from behind her. "Please Rocket, just drop those quartzes and come quietly!" he begged the furry gunslinger before the giant yellow woman stomped before Rocket, revealing the Elder of the Universe and Groot trapped in her torso. "I am Groot!"

"You bastard, you're the one who took Groot!" Rocket shouted firing his blaster before the giant plucked it out of his paws with only one hand and smashed it. "Good show there Topaz. Now allow me to take the rodent."

"The hell is a rodent?" Rocket wondered before the Gem turned her hair ribbon into a wand that she froze him in place with. "I'd rather not regale you with useless facts furball. But allow me to introduce myself." the midget stated. "I am Aquamarine and this is my partner Topaz. We've come here because you have committed treason against my superior Blue Diamond!"

"What, she has like billions of those rocks! It's not like she's going to miss any of them." Rocket defended himself before Aquamarine smashed him into the ground. "Do not meddle in the affairs of the Diamonds, for they are subtle and quick to anger."

"I'm quick to anger too and definitely not subtle! If only I still had my gun with me, I'd give your smug blue face a good ol' one-two!" Rocket threatened. Suddenly there were interrupted by a tall green Gem with large spiky hair stepping in. "Any updates on those quartzes Emerald?"

"No Aquamarine, we have not found them yet." the Emerald explained. "But then again, you did send out those Rubies to find them." she added.

"Ho-hum, I guess that's what happens when you produce incompetent soldiers like them." Aquamarine huffed. "Speaking of which, I see you still only have three with you. Now hand them over!"

"Over my dead body you baby blue brat!" Rocket screamed struggling to get free. "Just you wait, you're gonna get distracted and let me down, leaving you open for me to claw you apart!"

"This little rat is in need of shutting up." Aquamarine scowled. "Topaz, if you please could take care of him. Emerald and I are going to round up those Rubies." She placed her wand back on her head, freeing Rocket from its tractor beam and making him fall back on the ground. Just as he rubbed his eyes, the Topaz had defused into two slightly shorter Gems that began surrounding him. Rocket then fearfully covered his eyes as everything went white.

* * *

"I'm dead! I'm dead! I am for damn sure dead!"

But thankfully Rocket wasn't when he uncovered his eyes, learning that he was now stuck in Topaz's torso alongside Groot and the Collector. The three of them were onboard a spaceship the large Gem was piloting while her superior spoke with someone on a video screen.

"I can confirm my Diamond, the culprit has been detained along with his wooden compatriot and their buyer for further evidence." Aquamarine stated. "We shall be arriving back to put the rodent on trial in T-minus 15 minutes."

"So this is it. This is how I die. Executed in front of millions of Gems." Rocket groaned in defeat. "I don't really care anyway, since I don't got that long a lifespan." Then Groot decided to speak up. "I am Groot." he said in a comforting tone extending a vine from his arm to stroke his partner's face. "Thanks big guy, but I don't think we're coming outta this alive."

"But what about me?! I am completely innocent in all of this!" Tanaleer Tivan exclaimed. "Don't try to weasel your way out feather-face, you basically set yourself up!" Rocket replied. "Well you made me an accomplice and now we're all stuck together!"

"Quiet down there you two!" Aquamarine shouted from above. "Do I have to split you up? I feel there's tons more room outside the ship."

"Okay, we'll all shut our traps! But on one condition." the raccoon said. "Is there a possibility I can receive just one video call?" he asked. "I feel like there's someone I need to have one last word with before I'm subjected to whatever fate is in store for me."

"Are you serious about this?" Aquamarine groaned floating back down to her prisoners. "Proceed, but make it quick." she finally accepted turning on the screen. "Besides, I've already arranged for your trial."

"Thank you very much." Rocket declared gratefully before beginning to operate the communicator. "Who are you planning to call Rocket?" the Collector asked as he finished typing in a name of an otter he knew would help them out.

Lylla.

* * *

Moments later, Aquamarine's vessel arrived at its destination and with it, Rocket was separated from Groot and the Collector. He was carried off by one Topaz while the latter two were held by the other.

"You do realize that I am an Elder of the Universe?" the Collector said trying to free himself for his current situation before the Topazes stopped and doors closed behind them. The Topaz carrying Rocket, now wearing handcuffs covering most of his arms, dropped him off at a vacant purple-tinted room before departing.

"So you're just gonna drop me here like that?! C'mon you big boulder, I deserve a little more courtesy than that!" Rocket shouted pounding at the wall. "At least give me one last chat with Groot before everything goes down to hell!"

Suddenly, another door opened and out of it came a blue Gem with crescent-shaped hair and a monocle mumbling to herself. "Okay Zircon, you got this. It's just classic theft. Now who could you be defending today?" she muttered before turning to Rocket and grimaced. "Are you serious?"

"What are you lookin' at moonhead?" Rocket insulted her. "Listen you little furball, you can insult me later! You my friend are now among Homeworld's most wanted for desecrating the legacy of a deceased Gem!" the Zircon shouted grabbing him by the arms. "Legacy? They're just rocks!" Rocket scoffed. "Besides, what kinda legacy could they hold anyway?"

"I think it's finally time you learned the truth ringtail." Zircon stated making a screen appear out of her monocle showing four diamond symbols connected to one another, a white one on top, blue & yellow on the sides and pink at the bottom. "The ones you stole originally belonged to Pink Diamond, who had unfortunately been slain by one of her Rose Quartzes during the rebellion. Although all traces of her were wiped from Homeworld in the modern day, there is still a mural of her on a moon base within the Sol System and a human zoo."

"A human zoo? Yeah, that's the place where I found them!" Rocket asked. "Indeed it is. It was once built for Pink when she expressed her intentions to preserve life on Earth." his defendant continued. "However once she perished, control of it was later relinquished to Blue Diamond. The two of them were very close, so I advise you keep your mouth shut around her."

"If you say so." Rocket stated. "I mean, what's the worse that can happen?"

* * *

Mere moments later in the courtroom, the two of them were preparing for the forthcoming trial as a similar looking Zircon appeared next to them, this one appearing green due to the lighting of the area and wearing a smug grin on her face. "You know her?"

"Regretfully." the defending Zircon groaned as two more Gems appeared. Both of them had pointed noses yet one was yellow and the other was blue. Rocket started sweating in fear at the sight of the two, since because they were Pearls meant that the Diamonds weren't too far behind.

"All rise for the luminous Yellow Diamond!" the yellow Pearl announced striking a pose. "And the lustrous Blue Diamond." the blue Pearl added with a curtsey. With that, their very superiors appeared, towering over the quivering experiment as he quietly declared to himself "I. Am. Dead."

"Okay, let's get this over with. All this because of some rodent?" Yellow Diamond muttered sitting down on her throne. "This isn't just some rodent Yellow, it's a thief who dared desecrate her legacy!" the other Diamond responded hotly. "I say give him the harshest punishment when we are finished!"

"My Diamond, you're being a bit rash." Blue Pearl soothed her master while sketching the events that had occurred. "Yeah, can't we all just simmer down and reach a compromise?" Rocket added. "Let's split them fifty-fifty! I mean literally split them, like cut half of them in two and-I'm not making anything better, aren't I?"

"No, no you aren't." Yellow flatly stated. "Now then, let's proceed without any further complications." she announced. "Very well my Diamond." the yellow Zircon stated clearing his throat. "Today we are presiding over the trial of this little furry organism designated at Subject: 89P13, better known to many galactic communities as Rocket, for the crimes of theft from a highly guarded area." she said. "But as it turns out, he wasn't the only culprit. Exhibit A!"

With a snap of her fingers, Groot suddenly appeared in the courtroom. "His frequent accomplice, a Flora colossus who constantly refers to himself as Groot, was also involved in the theft." the prosecutor continued. "I am Groot!" the tree monster exclaimed before he nervously turned to Rocket. "As you can see your honor, this wooden alien possesses a rather limited vocabulary, only able to say the words "I", "Am" & "Groot." Always in that exact order."

"C'mon Lylla, where are ya?" Rocket mumbled to himself before Groot extended a comforting branch on his shoulder. "Thanks big guy." he said with a warm smile. "It seems that Rocket here, as a result of having been paired up with him for so long, gained the ability to understand Groot's speech patterns."

"We also heard there was another party involved in this. Can you please identify?" Blue Diamond asked. "With pleasure. May I introduce our eyewitness and unwarranted victim, the Elder of the Universe known as Tanaleer Tivan!"

Suddenly, the Collector appeared on a platform with the spotlight now literally on him. "Greetings to all, I am the Collector, who well, collects all sorts of strange things from across the galaxy! Including, unfortunately for you two Diamonds, something very valuable to both of you. Whoopsies."

"Don't play innocent Tivan, you were involved in this!" Yellow raised her voice cornering the Elder. "Okay okay, I confess! I was the one who suggested that Rocket take something from you for my collection, but I originally planned on stealing some technology before I realized how much more valuable an actual gemstone is! Especially one that hasn't been used in ages!" Tivan confessed. "I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be needing them anymore so-"

"Okay, we've heard enough!" Yellow Pearl interrupted him entering the trio's names into the records while Blue Pearl finished a rather elaborate drawing of how the theft could've occurred. "Can I get a chance to talk your honor?" Rocket asked. "Permission granted. But I insist we speak face-to-face." Blue Diamond stated bringing the raccoon to her face. Rocket felt himself sweating again as the monarch glared at him. "Tell me rodent, do you know about her?"

"Which one? That Pink girl or Rose?" Rocket asked raising a brow. "Both of them! They're the reason you stand here today." Blue replied sternly. "Now how do you plead critter?"

"My Diamonds, I sincerely hate to interrupt, but we have a situation!" a Ruby cried suddenly rushing into the courtroom. "An intruder has come searching for Rocket! I repeat, an intruder has-" Before the Ruby could finish, she was zapped and reduced to just her gemstone by a female otter-like creature wearing a purple outfit similar to Rocket's. "Did you miss me?"

"Lylla, I knew ya'd come through!" Rocket cried to his soulmate. "Now can you be a pal and uncuff me here?" His fellow mercenary replied by blasting his handcuffs, freeing his paws and allowing him to grab a laser gun that he pointed around. "Anyone want a piece of us?!"

"Guards, seize them!" Yellow ordered summoning more Rubies, Topazes and Quartzes to handle the two. "That's it, we're bookin' it!" Lylla cried racing out of the area taking Rocket, Groot and the Collector with her.

* * *

"So where did you say you parked?" the Collector asked as the four continued fleeing the guards. "There should be a spaceport up ahead, I've already stolen a Roaming Eye for us to get off this planet." Lylla explained. "There!"

Finally they made it to the port where their getaway ship was waiting, a teardrop-shaped red pod with a singular yellow window in the front. "I am Groot?" Groot wondered. "We'll provide a distraction while you and Tivvy try and get this hunk-a-junk working!" Rocket ordered. "And there's also a high probability one of us will have to stay behind while the others get away."

"I am Groot?" Groot wondered concernedly. "Don't worry big guy, they will be rescued." the raccoon assured his partner. "Now come on, we got work to do!"

Eventually the pursuing Gems finally caught up to the escapees, but suddenly one of the Topazes was taken down by a blast from Lylla. "Halt intruder! For your history with the criminal and attempts of theft, you will be placed under arrest in his place!" one of the Rubies shouted just as the Roaming Eye was finally ready to take off. "Don't let them escape!"

"That's our cue honey, let's blow these boulders and get outta here!" Rocket exclaimed preparing to board the Gem ship, but his beloved remained outside shooting down Gems. "Y-you're not coming?" he muttered fearfully holding his partner's paws. "I'm sorry Rocket, but I think I'll be the one to stay behind. Just let me settle things for you. Let me do this for you."

"But what'll happen to you?!" Rocket cried before Lylla cut him off with a kiss. The animal mercenary duo lovingly embraced for a few moments while the pursuing Gems surprisingly decided not to interrupt before breaking their kiss. "Hopefully I'll be fine." Lylla said. "Just go. Go and fight your own battles. But promise that you'll come back for me someday."

"I promise babe." Rocket promised letting her go and retreating back into the Roaming Eye where Groot and the Collector awaited him. Finding a chair in front of the largest console, the raccoon began making a few calculations when Groot put a branch on his shoulder. "I am Groot?"

Rocket was silent for a few moments, making the flora colossus guess something had happened to Lylla. "I sincerely hate to be impatient but if we don't hurry, we could be good as dead!" Tanaleer exclaimed fidgeting in his seat. "All right Tivan, keep your stupid outfit on." Rocket groaned making last preparations and the Roaming Eye began to take off, full-on bending time and space as it rapidly fled Homeworld, leaving the Diamond Authority and Lylla behind.

"You can run all you want rodent," Yellow Diamond sneered as she and Blue watched from a distance. "but we will meet again someday."

* * *

At long last, the Ruby ship appeared out of a black hole and touched down on Knowhere close to the Collector's museum. When the three escapees disembarked, they were left dazed from the sights of their trip. "I am never going that fast ever again!" a dizzy Rocket exclaimed steadying himself. When he regained stability, he turned to gaze at the stars outside the disembodied Celestial head and began thinking about Lylla's sacrifice. "Guess I'm not so different from that Blue Diamond chick after all."

"How so Rocket?" Tanaleer asked nervously eyeing the stolen craft. "And how are we going to get rid of this? Pretty sure there must be some kind of system installed to track us down."

"Don't worry, got a couple guys who'll take care of it for me." Rocket stated before a group of thieves began tearing down the Roaming Eye to sell its parts, chittering mischievously. "What a steal!" the goblin leader exclaimed running off with his subordinates. "Anyway, I think it's because we both lost someone." the bounty hunter concluded. "Only difference is mine is still alive while hers is dead."

"I am Groot?" Groot inquired. "Yes indeed my wooden pal, she gave herself up so that we can escape." Rocket answered putting on a brave face. "But mark my words, we will find her someday! I promised her!"

The two looked out onto the horizon, hopeful for a future where they can bring Lylla back and have more adventures with her as the Collector scurried back to his domain, desiring not to get involved in any more Gem activity.

* * *

 _And that was Episode of Rocket! Certainly a bit more emotional than I thought it would be, especially at the climax, but I hope this gives further context on our favorite raccoon's animosity with the Diamonds. Join us for another tale of Earth-2013 where we look at the origin story of the Mad Titan himself! Until then..._

* * *

"Here's your cell Ms. Lylla. I want you and your cellmate to play nice, especially since she won't be around for long!" a nasally-voiced green Gem with metallic limbs stated tossing the otter in a prison cell with an electrical forcefield in lieu of metal bars. "I'll be back to check up on you later."

Lylla knelt down on the ground and began contemplating the consequences of her sacrifice. On the one hand Rocket is safe but on the other, who knows what the Gems could do to her?

"Are you okay there? What's your name?" a female voice belonging to what Lylla presumed was her new cellmate asked. "Oh, my name is Lylla miss!" the lover of Rocket answered turning to a tall blue-skinned figure with a tear-shaped gem on her back. "What's yours?"

The figure turned to meet Lylla's gaze with an emotionless but defeated look on her face. "My name is Lapis Lazuli."

 **In Memory of Stan Lee (December 28, 1922 - November 12, 2018)**

 **One last excelsior to the greatest true believer of them all.**

 **'Nuff said.**


End file.
